Arson, robbery and moonshine—Just Easter in Danville

J checks the Danville paper every morning online all the while fearing that he will read something about our house in it. Last Wednesday, that worst nightmare was realized. The headline read: Jefferson Avenue blaze destroys house
Followed by a picture of … the house next to ours.
Talk about perfect timing for a trip to go check on the house. Thankfully, any damage to our house wasn’t nearly as bad as we imagined. And luckily for us, the house next to ours is brick, which really contained the fire and they caught it before it jumped to our house. Besides a melted drain pipe, burnt grass and some inconvenient electricity issues, we came out unharmed. As for the house next to ours, it’s a total loss. It was vacant because the woman is in a nursing home and her son who was also living there passed away a year ago. Oh and of course she has no insurance on the house. And that it was arson? So it will sit burned and even more vacant probably until J convinces me we should buy it. Have I mentioned that there are about 7 vacant houses on our street? Three of which have been in a fire. Yes, we know we live in a classy neighborhood. And we also realize our house is a roller coaster of endless problems. Don’t you worry; we are indeed as insane as we seem. Our newest theme song is Live’s “Shittown”. But we do still believe Danville is up and coming and our investment was smart … it just may take 20 years.

In what could be called good news, the progress on reinstalling plumbing and heat in our house is coming along nicely. No heat and water in the house while we were staying there this weekend, but we did have partial electricity. Who needs a shower anyways?

Once all is fixed, we hope to get a renter in the house so it will no longer sit vacant. I know the people will be lining up at the door waiting to live among the sea of vacant houses in a crackhead neighborhood, don’t you think?

Overall, we accomplished a ton on this trip. Uncle SlickG joined us and made a dent going through his deceased buddy’s stuff and donating over 200 books, tons of clothes and household items. You might remember when we packed up all his stuff and moved it to Danville in September. Or you might not, but that’s what happened. This is just becoming a comedy, isn’t it?

In any case, it was a good trip. We did a little rock climbing with Bolt and the Is/Was family. We partied hard with our “crew.” J went to see the first show of the Dead tour on Easter, while I hob-knobbed with my girls and one husband (poor guy). Speaking of this specific husband, I’m convinced that he and J have a little bromance going on. Must be their love of moonshine.

Last, but certainly not least, we had a celebrity sighting in Danville. Yes, Danville. For any Survivor fans out there, Jonny Fairplay from Pearl Islands was born and raised in this great town. He’s been living here on and off with his America’s Top Model wife since his stints on Survivor (he was also on the All-Stars show). Our friends run in the same circle as him. Of course, he is just “Jon” and they don’t really recognize his “celebrityhood.” For the longest time, I’ve been bugging our friends to invite him out sometime. He was finally at the same party as us Saturday, and I have to admit, I was a little star struck. Once I wiped the drool from my chin and stop blubbering, I went into reporter mode and grilled him about Survivor secrets (I won’t reveal them here, but if you are interested, I can fill you in!). I’m not going to lie too, he is a bit cocky. But I don’t blame him! Being pretty much a millionaire and all. I’m excited to say J even gave him a “tour” of our house. Oooh la la. Maybe we should take back what we said about Danville being a shittown since it’s popping out Jonny Fairplays, huh?