Currently: October

Currently living/working: We finished cleaning out my mom’s house in NJ & returned to Alaska’s heatless sun. Not for long since we are now in sunny Spain! Anyway, most of October, Justin has been busy with some writing deadlines & his Discover Denali job (it’s still part-time, but year-round), while I continued on the crash course of managing my mom’s affairs. 

Current mood: Cleaning out/selling my mom’s house has been taxing, but I’m riding the high from accomplishing my task list without too many hiccups. 

Currently worried about: As my mom nears one year on hospice, she continues to be an anomaly, surprising everyone, everyday. Let’s review her stats: she is 79 years old, still smoking, still in the 60-pound range of weight, now on oxygen 24 hours/day, and experiencing edema up her legs from heart failure. My sister & I love our mom dearly, but her needs are becoming more and more of an albatross, and this long goodbye is quite a mind trip. 

Currently not excited for: The term “sandwich generation” is often used to describe custodial care of parents, but I’d like to say it’s more like a 7-layer dip for me! There are so many nuances to estate management requiring way more brainpower & dedication than I could have ever predicted. Long story short, the lessons keep on coming & I will take an audible exhale when my mom’s house sale is finalized. 

Currently thankful for: My mom has a good friend who is a realtor in NJ, and I am so thankful to have her guidance on this house sale! I am out of practice on proper home buying because we take an atypical approach in Alaska … you just shake on it & pay a title company a small fee to record the deed!

Currently excited for:  This vacation feels like it had impeccable timing. We’re enjoying Barcelona for a few days before we ship off for our no-fuss 14-day cruise! 

Current guilty pleasure: Justin is writing an article about watches for Outdoor Life, so naturally he asked me to be one of his testers. Let me preface by saying I was a watch-wearing girl my whole life until my Garmin GPS watch gave out in 2015, and I opted not to spend $900 on a new one. Once I started using AllTrails on my phone to track my hikes, I stopped missing a watch. However, now that I’ve been testing a fancy GPS watch with mind-blowing technology for Justin, I’m back on the watch bandwagon. It’s no secret I obsess over stats, so I’m digging all the new features, but in particular, the sleep tracking. I didn’t really need an app to tell me how much insomnia robs me of better sleep quality, but it validates my frustrations. 

Currently proud of: Justin turned 48 this month, and deserves a bit of a shoutout. Justin is still considered in remission for his Crohn’s (since 2021). He’s been getting infusion treatments every other month since November 2018. This means he spends hours out of his life driving up & back to Fairbanks to be hooked up to machines for hours. Despite cameling up on water prior to the event, his elusive veins mean there’s usually 4-5 attempts of prodding to insert the needle. Essentially, he’s been poked for IVs 60+ times in the past 6 years—more than most people can say happens in their lifetime. He is equally disgusted by and thankful for his strict immunosuppressant drug regiment. Additionally, he is on a constant vigilance about what he eats. His brain is on high alert when he eats anything he knows could disrupt his tummy (which is basically everything at any given moment). He has apprehension about if there’s a bathroom nearby everywhere he goes. Yet somehow, he has more energy to do all the things and never hesitates to challenge himself. Bravo, Justin, bravo! 

Currently amazed by: On that same note of pride, Justin & I celebrated 18 years of marriage this month! Marriage is challenging on its own, but when you add in chronic disease & caregiving of parents, it’s next level hard. These last few years, we’ve had to shift the goal posts of what is working for us and what is not working for us as a couple, and we’ve committed to making changes to become better partners! Bravo, us, bravo! 

Currently regretting: Justin went to the annual convention for the Alaska Travel Industry Association last week in Juneau for his Discover Denali job, and if the timing were different, I would have joined him to explore Juneau a little. We went there in 2006 on a cruise, but I would love to spend some time there. Oh well! 

Current confession: Justin is bewitched by Costco. And he doesn’t shop by what we need, he shops by the sales. When he goes alone, I worry. Some things become big hits in this house (I’m looking at you Smores!). Is there anyone local who wants these rice puddings???  

Currently reading:  Sometimes I have books on my TBR list & I’m not sure who recommended it or where the idea came from. And because I get most of my e-books from the library, I rely on availability. That’s how I ended up reading No Two Persons by Erica Bauermeister. It’s basically a bunch of short stories about different people who are reading the same book, which is a unique concept. The character development is so well done, and there is something relatable in each person. But overall, it was meh. 

Somehow I connected with Rebekah Mallory on Instagram, and somehow her book, Train Gone: A CODA Ex-JW Memoir, ended up on my Kindle years ago. I finally read it. Admittedly, I had a difficult time getting past the style, as the story is told via the conversation between Rebekah and her therapist, which felt odd. I’ve never read that style before & I didn’t love it. Also, there is a fair bit of detailed sex scenes. Regardless, it combines two heavy topics. Rebekah grew up with deaf parents and as a Jehovah’s Witness. To say I learned a lot about two topics I knew nothing about is an understatement, and I enjoy this voyeuristic peak into different lifestyles.

Currently watching on Netflix/Peacock/Disney+: We only have a promo of Disney+ until Nov. 1, so we took a Below Deck break to watch a few Nat Geo movies/documentaries. I also binged Secret Live of Mormon Wives when Justin was gone!! There’s that voyeurism again … Also, Justin & I watched The Perfect Couple limited series on Netflix with Nicole Kidman and it was a solid pick!