Currently living/working: We were kind of all over the place this month—Justin in Oregon for his boys’ trip and me in Nashville for my sister’s 50th bday trip. And both on our own in Alaska for a bit! Since Nashville, I’ve been in NJ at my mom’s and will be here into November. Work-wise, we’re both cracking away on joint and solo writing projects.
Current mood: Like I said, I’m in NJ, and the reason is two-fold. I’m here checking on my mom in person (more on that later), but also escaping Alaska for a bit. The cold doesn’t bother me as much as the darkness does. With the sun retreating like a dying lamp, it’s just the worst time of year in Alaska in my opinion. We lose 6 minutes of daylight every day! Right now in AK, the sun comes up around 9:30am, goes down around 5:45pm, and it’s only getting worse until solstice in December. My solution: leave AK for a bit. In NJ, daylight is still holding on strong and it’s definitely a mental pirouette for me.
Currently amazed by: Justin and I celebrated 16 years of marriage on 10/28. I say celebrated sarcastically, because we are 3000+ miles apart between Alaska and New Jersey! We don’t do big anniversary things, hardly a card, but that doesn’t mean we don’t love each other. I can’t believe I’ve had this man in my life for 20 years!!!!! We really are lucky to have found each other, and make a great team.
Currently thankful for: When I left AK on 10/20, we were making the border crossing into winter with our first significant snowfall. I love that I get to enjoy a SECOND fall in New Jersey. And not for nothing, but fall in the northeast is different than fall in Alaska with more canopy color changing versus the carpet underfoot.
Currently worried about: I have made it part of my yearly tradition ever since my dad died in 2019 to come spend a few weeks in NJ, mainly to just check on my mom and her house in person. My schedule allows it, so why not? The visits, amidst all of their joy, are highly challenging as well. There are significant ways in which she ages every time I see her—flagging energy, diminished hearing, and fleeting short-term memory—and that is hard to watch. But there’s also the whole idea that my 77-year-old mom is still managing a household solo and there are things I can’t stop her from doing (#stubbornmother). Like going up the rickety attic stairs to check for leaks every time it rains and going down the spiral stairs to the basement to check the water softener, furnace and boiler. I could go on. I’m anguished with questions about the what ifs. What will come next in regard to her house, her health, her finances, and her mortality? My brain always gets overwhelmed, tired & drained from the visits, and I do hope I’m doing all I can to keep her safe and happy.
Currently proud of: Alaska Magazine asked ME to do an article! It’s every writer’s dream to get assignments, instead of having to pitch for articles. And I’m honored and grateful that it happened with Alaska Magazine (stay tuned, the article won’t be out until March).
As for Justin’s proud news, the documentary about From Good Homes came out, and it is SO good! For those that don’t know, this is the NJ-based band that shaped Justin’s 20s. He’s gone to hundreds of shows. A few years ago, someone started putting together a documentary, and Justin pulled out all his cassette and video footage of shows and did an extensive interview for the documentary. The result is pretty awesome!
Currently excited for: Earlier in October, we hosted a birthday party for Justin at the yurt. It was so fun to enjoy that space and host more than 3 friends (our cabin’s maximum capacity is really 5 people). When we bought the yurt in August 2021, we spent the winter setting it up as the rental, but didn’t heat it. So clearly we didn’t hang out there much (it was often -20 INSIDE). This winter, we have proper heating and it’s all set up, so we hope to enjoy it some more, and even have some sleepovers there!
Current guilty pleasure: I call NJ my cheese vacation. I am mostly dairy-free because of Justin’s dietary restrictions, but when I am in NJ cooking and eating with my mom, I eat real cheese! Justin’s guilty pleasure, on the other hand, is having no planned menu! I am very regimented with our “menu,” mainly because you have to plan accordingly when the big grocery stores are 2 hours away. Justin is all about winging it, and I am trying not to think about what he might be eating (or not eating) on a daily basis.
Current confession: With that being said, it’s pretty clear he needs his “house manager” (me). He’s had one kitchen fire. He completely freaked out when he got a bill from the hospital (I don’t let him look at the bills). He hasn’t touched the honey to do list I left him. Whatever he is eating is sending him to the outhouse multiple times a day. Anyone else have a partner that can’t seem to survive on their own??
Currently regretting: Our beloved blue car is a goner after 2 summers of use … It really did us well, but the engine oil pan cracked and is not worth fixing to us. It was my fault—I probably hit a big rock while driving not-so-carefully around town. But in my defense, you need to see our Alaska roads to understand. Or as my sister would say as I was driving her around Healy on her visit this summer, “you call these roads? Half of it is literally missing.” On a side note, it actually happened when Justin was away, so our truck was up in Fairbanks. I know I have a lot of guardian angels because I realized at the post office it started leaking oil, but I made it home and it finished leaking in the driveway!
Currently reading: Two Old Women by Velma Wallis was a quick, easy read with vivid landscape details of two heroines. Based on a legend from the Gwich’in band of Athabaskans, it depicts the journey of two older women abandoned by their tribe who survive a brutal winter. The author is well suited to tell the inspirational tale as she grew up in a traditional Athabaskan family in the Fort Yukon area.
If you have any spec of anxiety, Unattached: A Memoir by Reannon Muth will resonate with you. If I’m being honest, the book made me a bit sad, just thinking about how people suffer alone and hide their true feelings from others. It is almost unbelievable how personal and revealing Reannon gets through the pages, but the fact that she can write about it shows just how far she’s come. Bravo for being vocal about anxiety.
I started 2 other books, but I’ll leave those for next month’s reviews since I’m not done.
Currently watching on Netflix/Hulu/HBO Max/Starz/AMC: I’m definitely off a streaming kick, since I’m at my mom’s and she has cable and the TV is on 13 hours out of the day. I’m not sure what Justin is watching. But in general, I’m trying to convince Justin that the $0.99 Hulu deal we snagged in November isn’t really worth it and we should NOT renew it when it comes up again next month. Yes, they have a wide variety of TV shows. But does anyone else think Netflix has a better movie selection?
I need to reply to your email but love this update! I don’t have Hulu. We finally cut the cable cord a few weeks ago after I finished Better Call Saul so I am on my own with Netflix and Amazon. I am watching Grey’s Anatomy on ABC’s website a week after it airs and that seems to be working. I’ll have to figure out things when Outlander comes back and when Call the Midwife comes on. Hulu hasn’t appealed to me but maybe if I found deal I would try it!
I’m glad you are getting a second fall! Come south and you can have a third one! LOL I’m pretty sure we will just fade right into winter. It’s lame right now. Congrats on the anniversary! Y’all are long haulers, too!
Too bad about the blue car! It was good while it lasted. I agree about Hulu not being worth it. I’ve found good content on HBO. Enjoy the dairy and sunlight!
Justin is lost without you.
I love the photo of you and your mom! Frame that for her!