Currently: February

Currently living/working: Justin joined me in NJ for a few weeks this month! Thank goodness for gig work and our convenient side hustle of virtual library presentations because trying to incorporate the tide of personal responsibilities and work goals into the caregiving seems impossible to me. Also, I sold at least 6 Between Each Step copies at a book show hosted by Ursa Major Distillery in Alaska! At least I felt like I worked and contributed to our income a little bit this month …

Current mood: I’ll try not to be so depressing in this blog post, but who’s really happy in February??? With my mom’s health still waxing and waning, my life continues to be hunched under the weight of caregiving. Meanwhile, I am trying to pretend like I have a normal routine.

Current guilty pleasure: My sister had winter break while Justin was visiting me in NJ, so he and I went to Atlantic City for a little getaway. It was fantastic other than the fact that we donated some money to the slot machines and card tables. 

Currently proud of: I’m on day 62 of taking Spanish lessons on Duolingo! I reinvigorated my practice while we were in Mexico in Nov/Dec (I fondly remember those carefree days—insert laugh-crying emoji). If there’s one thing I’ve accomplished at my mom’s in NJ these past 60 days, it’s staying on top of my Spanish lessons. 

Currently excited for: Our hodgepodge of nontraditional work continues to evolve while living in Alaska. We are always amazed when new doors open, and while I don’t want to say too much yet, there are definitely some new doors opening this summer. 

Currently amazed by: My mom gave my sister & I permission to declutter the house slowly over these past few months. Given the fact that she’s lived here for nearly 50 years and has a proclivity for hoarding, it’s a gargantuan task. I plan to write a whole blog post about some of the gems unearthed, but here’s a sneak peek. We found 2 savings bonds from 1992 for me when I graduated 8th grade! They were worth $50 at the time, and now 32 years later, they are a whopping $207. 

Currently worried about: If you haven’t noticed, my website woes continue. If there are any tech-savvy folks out there that want to chime in on why some Internet providers are blocking my site and how to fix that, it would be appreciated. My website manager loves challenges, but he keeps hitting dead ends and I can’t keep asking him to fix the impossible. 

Currently not excited for: I booked my flight to return to AK for mid April. Which means I have 6 more weeks in my caregiving role as my mom continues to smoke, wheeze and wait. 

Currently thankful for: My 18-year-old niece, Sarah, got a job at the Grand Canyon for the next 8 months! I’ve been helping her navigate the seasonal employment scene since last April, and she just got to AZ and starts her job as a hostess in the Grand Canyon on Monday after road tripping unscathed this week clear across the country through tornados, snow and wildfires.  

Current confession: I’m going to be really vague here and say I got something done that I’ve been wanting to get done for a long time. And it felt really purposeful to have something for just myself!

Currently regretting: No Iditarod volunteering for me this year. But Justin is going out to a new checkpoint to work on the Trail Crew solo! 

Currently reading: I’m still diving into books because real life sucks right now … 

I finished my 3rd book by Heather Lende, Find the Good: Unexpected Life Lessons from a Small-Town Obituary Writer. Once again, it didn’t quite hit the mark for me like Of Bears and Ballots did. The one aspect I love in all her books is the setting of Haines, Alaska, and learning more and more about that small town. But this one felt too forced and predictable. 

I needed something funny to read, and we are never meeting in real life by Samantha Irby came up as available through my library, so I checked it out. I was drawn to 3 things about Irby: she’s a blogger turned author (I never read her blog), she was a writer for the new Sex & the City reboot that I loved, and has Crohn’s disease. Despite my high hopes, I was disappointed in her writing. It’s a collection of essays that covers everything from dating to death, but I was not LOL-ing like others said. I was mostly cringing. I’m not a prude at all, but the oversharing felt a tad forced to get a laugh. Regardless, it was a quick read, so I stuck it out until the end. 

Full disclosure: I bought The Witching Year: A Memoir of Earnest Fumbling Through Modern Witchcraft before its launch to support an author friend, and I didn’t think I would truly enjoy it. I met Diana Helmuth last spring on a gear testing trip for Outdoor Life. Her sharp wit had me in stitches during our multi-day backpacking trip. Diana’s sarcasm and frankness continued through the pages of her book, and I was surprised with how much I enjoyed it. Of course I knew about as much about witchcraft as you can fit into a fortune cookie before reading this, and I always appreciate new knowledge gained on a topic I would never had researched on my own. Diana successfully parts the curtain to give you a peak into modern-day witchcraft, all the while making you smile and laugh. 

I only picked up The Book of Boundaries: Set the Limits That Will Set You Free because so many people raved about it. But I actually only read 50 pages … it just didn’t feel helpful to me. If there’s been one good thing about my 40s, it’s the fact that I’ve learned how to set boundaries. Many days, I keep my phone on silent. I am unapologetic for saying no to hanging out when I need to. I tell my extremely indecisive husband that I can’t always do the emotional work for him to make decisions. Always room for improvement, but I didn’t need the book to walk me through that. 

Currently watching on Netflix/Peacock/HBO Max/Starz/AMC: Since Justin & I reunited for a bit, we watched True Detective Night Country on HBO Max (awesome), Griselda on Netflix (awesome) and one season of Below Deck on Peacock (couldn’t resist).