There’s a trickle down byproduct of inheritance that people like to avoid thinking about: acquiring someone else’s mountain of stuff. Over the years, I’ve watched in horror as every inch of available space in my mom’s house filled up to its maximum capacity. I figured starting the monumental and daunting task of pairing down was a smart use of my last few months while being a caregiver for my mom.

Cleaning out someone’s house usually spikes a desire for minimalism. I’ve always had a healthy let-go attitude—could have something to do with the fact that I’ve moved about 20 times in the last 20 years. At the same time, I’m all about recycle/reuse and a firm believer in one person’s trash can be another’s treasure.

However, it’s always a little weird to sort someone else’s lifetime collection into piles for throw away, give away or keep. My mom’s house reeks a frightening amount of nostalgia—almost like we are in a time warp that turned the clock back a few decades. Given my mom’s saving obsession, I’m basically babysitting a bunch of dusty junk. I am plagued with the question what do you preserve that might interest other people or collectors? Some days, I have an emotional hangover—melancholy that lingers from separating tender keepsakes and reconciling loss aversion for things deemed donations or trash.

I haven’t resorted to a dumpster yet, mainly because I’m trying to shield my mom from the trauma of seeing her stuff get tossed. The township supposedly picks up one large piece of garbage per week outside the garbage pails, but I press my luck by putting out a few items each week and so far, so good. Also, I’ve had great timing as there have been four at-home donation pickups, saving me multiple trips to donation centers.

So what is this amateur archaeologist on a major dig finding? I don’t plan on taking any goods to Antiques Roadshow, but I recently walked around an antique shop and realized just how many items people were selling that still live in my mom’s house.
The closets are like museums, uncovering clothing from each decade—my sister’s prom dress from 1990, 30 ties in a variety of colors from my dad’s suit-wearing job from 1970-2000, and lingerie my mom probably wore twice in the 1970s while trying to get pregnant (gross). There’s clothing so old the elastic crinkles.
I thought I’d find more expiration dates in the 1990s, but really it was just the Coppertone Suntan Lotion bottle from 1996, hot chocolate from 2003 and Benadryl cream from 2007 that stand out as the oldest.

There are things that I sort of understand saving on the count that my mom is very sentimental, which is why my 8th grade bowling trophy still sits on a shelf and pinecones my niece collected at age 3 were stored in a bag. She also (over) loved gifts from others, so when something broke, it didn’t go in the garbage, she just relied on her best friend with a first name of Scotch and a last name of Tape.

Even though my mom’s house is full of things that have outlived their need, there are other things that I am astonished still have life left after close to 50 years of use. My mom’s great grandpa gifted her the formica kitchen table and pleather chairs (reupholstered a few times) for her bridal shower in 1969. Her copper pots and pans came from her grandma for her shower and are in better condition than my set from 2006. Some of the tupperware has turned brittle, but it’s from the late 1960-80s era and still eeks of continued retro practicality.

Because the house keeps vomiting up more treasures and I haven’t even begun to address the entire forest of paperwork scattered in every nook and cranny, there will be a part 2 to this post.
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I actually love this kind of post! Going through thrift stores and antique places I realize just how much *stuff* everyone has. And even us, who pared down everything 14 years ago and then got it back and built upon it for the next decade…yikes. I do at least try to go go through every year or so and clean things out. I would probably toss a lot more if I had spousal agreement to some things. I started watching this dumpster dive lady on Youtube back over Christmas and she would dumpster dive behind thrift stores…and even they throw away a lot because there is just too much, even if it is good. She’ll rescue it and then have sidewalk giveaways for anyone in her town to just come and get it. I’ve stopped trying to sell anything I clean out…I give it away locally, donate it, or toss. Next time I need dishes or something I’m going to the thrift store.
Wow I had no idea how much hoarding has been happening at your mom’s house!
Thank you for sharing this story, Patrice. My mom traveled to St. Paul from Duluth 11 weekends in a row to help clean out years of stuff when my grandma moved out of her house, so I know how overwhelming and hard it can be. I am sending you strength and love to continue! And looking forward to reading more. ❤️
Oh my goodness, I hope you didn’t ditch the VHS tapes! My Mom passed away last year (my Dad 7 weeks before her) and had so much of the same (I had to go through a house of “treasures” accumulated for 49 years), and I wish I would have seen this post sooner to let you know because there are people on Ebay and/or Craigslist that will pay top dollar for these videos of the past taped from T.V.!
Looking forward to reading your book sometime soon as well! I love my travels in NZ and wish I had been on your adventure!
Hi Jen! I unfortunately did throw out the VHS tapes. I had NO idea there was a market for them. Oh well. If given more time, I probably could have found a new home for many of the items …
And yes!! New Zealand leaves a lasting impression! Let me know what you think if you end up reading my book